On average, it takes seven attempts for an individual to leave a domestic violence situation. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month – a time to honor survivors while also spreading awareness about ways abuse can manifest, why it is difficult for victims to leave, and what resources are available to those who may need them.

Types of Abuse

Abuse, including domestic violence, can look a plethora of ways. Types of abuse include physical, emotional, sexual, financial, technology-facilitated, spiritual, institutional or organizational, discriminatory, modern slavery and human trafficking, hate-based, neglect, and stalking or other types of harassment. Domestic violence can involve a myriad of types of abuse – not always leaving a bruise or physical evidence. For example, domestic violence can manifest as coercive control through someone’s finances, image, and social network as well as psychological abuse that targets one’s sense of reality and self-worth.

Barriers to Escape

There are numerous reasons why it is so difficult for victims to escape a domestic violence situation. Oftentimes, survivors are isolated from family, friends, resources, and other community support. In addition, this can also involve monitoring of texts, emails, and social media accounts, which makes it not just challenging to reach out but also dangerous. There may be real fear of retaliation, including being killed or other loved ones being harmed as a result of an attempt to leave. If children are involved, there can be an even stronger fear around children being put at risk. Due to financial abuse and control, individuals may also depend on their abusers financially and may have fears of becoming homeless if they were to leave due to shelters being full or inaccessible. Other factors may further complicate the situation such as immigration status, failure of the criminal justice system, cultural, familial, or religious expectations, shame, lack of resources, and discrimination based on race, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

Domestic Violence Resources

Despite the barriers to leaving, domestic violence resources are available. This month revolves around spreading awareness about what abuse looks like and how to create more accessible support for people who need it. If you are living in a domestic violence situation, consider calling 1.800.799.SAFE(7233) or texting “START” or “BEGIN” to 88788.

Visit https://www.thehotline.org/ for additional resources; this website also has a feature that allows you to exit quickly and erase search history.

Documentation can also provide tangible evidence to support future legal proceedings. This can look like dated images or videos of damaged property and physical injuries, call logs, any communication via email or texts, your personal notes or journaling keeping track of incidents of abuse, police reports, witness statements, medical records, and any objects used or damaged during an assault. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or concerned about being in an abusive relationship, please reach out to Embrace Therapy today to speak with a mental health professional and receive tailored support, care and resources you deserve.